002 - On the Idea of the Dream Job & Accepting Where You Are Right Now
"What is your dream job?" "Well, in my dreams, I don't work."
Hi guys!
How have you been? I hope today your Co-star treats you nice and kindly. I’m writing this newsletter after what has been the longest weeks ever in my life. I have been working late night shifts for 10 hours a day, every day except on Sunday. I can’t stop thinking about what I am doing with my life? If you tell my 25-year-old self that in my 30s I’ll be working as a Customer Service Representative for a retail company, that 25 yo girl would think it’s a lie. Not saying that it is a bad job but in the wise words of Carrie Bradshaw, I can’t help but wonder, how did I get here? Wasn't one of the reasons why I came to Melbourne was to pursue my career in Fashion? I lost track of what my actual dream job is. I don’t even know what my dream job is anymore?
I’ve had a lot of dream jobs. When I was seven, I told my parents that I wanted to be a doctor (lol) because every adult I know is a doctor and it seems like a really cool and noble job to have. When I was 10, I had a sewing class called Tata Busana where I was introduced to fashion and I thought I might like to be a fashion designer. At 17, I realized I wanted to be a writer because I have read so many teen lit books and this caused me to spend hours and hours in my room writing my own teen lit stories on my school’s notebook. Then I went to journalism school and had an internship at a fashion magazine where I discovered that fashion and writing has always been my main focus. By the time I was 24, I had found and lived my dream job: a fashion writer at a fashion magazine. I thought that was it. But after working alongside local and international designers for the purpose of creating content for the magazine, it struck me that I have always wanted to have my own fashion brand. So I left my job and moved to Melbourne to study fashion business in the hope that this will provide me something to shape my future work.
But now here I am. Not creating my own fashion brand yet and not working in a fashion magazine. Before you think I’m being an arrogant dickhead who doesn’t have a sense of gratitude that I still have a job, the reason why I’m writing this because this overwhelming situation of career anxiety has been haunting me for some time. I read this book by Kikuko Tsumura titled There’s No Such Thing as an Easy Job, about a young Japanese woman who’s struggling with wanting and finding meaningful work, as she moves from one job to another job. This book spoke to me so much. There were countless times where I spent my lunch break crying on the loo or screaming at my husband because it’s so hard doing my job. I acknowledge that I have been lucky enough to land this job and still have it while I know a lot of people lost their job during this time or doing a job that is worse and harder than what I’m doing. But does it make me an ungrateful little bitch for feeling stuck and complaining? Because I’m doing something that is not listed on My Dream Job?
It seems like I’m living the life that is not fully serving me and I started to feel very far away from what I had always imagined this chapter of my life to hold. I felt physically, emotionally and spiritually stuck, like nothing was providing me the same joy it once had. I didn’t feel creative and even doing anything that was feeding my soul. I feel like I have gone backwards in my life trajectory and goal. I have been feeling lost, super uninspired, and have no idea which direction I want to go in. I wish I could just blame this on my mid-life crisis phase but what if this feeling never changes and won’t get any better?
“Follow Your Passion!” “Choose a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life!” These kinds of Pinterest statements have been going around and passed down as advice for years. Leaders and successful figures in a variety of industries have been telling people to pursue their dreams and follow their passion if they want to lead a fulfilling and successful life. We all want to find a dream job that’s enjoyable and meaningful, but what does that actually mean? Perhaps having a dream job is subjective. For some people, a dream job might mean a huge salary, a big title in a great company. For others, it could be a job that is in line with their passion regardless of status or money.
But what happens if the job you have now is far from anything resembling any of your passions? This raises a harsh truth that the thing about jobs — which sometimes gets a little lost in the “do what you love” advice — is that we do it because we need money. Yes, doing what you love is a nice goal, but we also need to accept the tiny fact that we actually need to do what earns us a living wage, to meet ends. For some lucky people, they are able to have both — a dream job with good salary that provides a sense of fulfillment. But perhaps for some people, for some reasons, they don’t have The Dream Job.
I think we need to start re-thinking about how we approach work and the idea of The Dream Job. We have become so obsessed in finding our thing and making it, with #careergoals posts on Instagram and polishing our LinkedIn profile that it feels like work has been part of our identity, that it says something about who we are, what we are good at and where we are valuable in the world, to the point that the question people would ask when they first meet you is “What do you do for a living?”. It feels as though we need to pick something that we want to do forever and stick at it. But maybe it doesn’t have to be like that? Our job shouldn’t define who we are. Most of us so easily judge other people’s professions as if that's the only thing about them, while we are so much more than just our job. There is also this expectation and myth that once you are getting that Dream Job, you are just going to love everything about it. It will be all rainbows, glitters and unicorns, but sorry to say that's bullshit. It’s called work for a reason — it’s work, it’s not easy.
That being said, instead of thinking of The Dream Job as a destination, I will start to think of The Dream Job as an ever-evolving vehicle that gives me more space to adapt, grow and transform. Maybe that way I won’t get my hearts broken by the expectation I set myself to. We need to be flexible, that dreams and goals might change based on circumstances and realities that happen as we grow up. I’m not writing this to say that it’s not matter anymore to have dreams and goals, it’s still important to have one, but I just want to remind myself (and whoever read this) that it’s totally okay to be doing something that far from our actual Dream Job because our job is what we do, not who we are as a person and we are more than just one title for ourselves. We are a changing creature, capable of any transformation.
So right now, I may be having a job that I have never done or think of before. But thats fine because this is where I am right now and this job has provided me shelter, helps me to buy groceries and pay the bills and there is no shame in that. If anything, this job has taught me a lot of things and helped me sharpen my skills and knowledge. As someone who actually hates people and prefers to be alone, I proudly announce that I have entered the Advanced level of Patience and Stress Management. I think this proves that I have given myself an opportunity to grow. Maybe I don’t have my work published in a magazine, but the feeling that I get when a customer says that I have helped them in finding a perfect pen gives me a little bit of fulfillment, that I’m doing something good.
I believe there are other ways to find meaning and satisfaction in life, something that makes you feel alive, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be your job. It can be other things, like for me, it’s creating and writing this newsletter with my best friend. It honestly gives me so much happiness and excitement, because I’m writing again.
While I may not have much insight on where I’m headed and perhaps I’m not where I thought I would be right now, I believe I’m slowly moving to be where I am supposed to be. We just need to trust our own time and have faith in why things happen the way they do.
✿✿✿ SOME COOL STUFF FOR YOU ✿✿✿
🌻 The coolest human being that ever graced this planet earth.
🌷 My latest read: Detransition, Baby. An important and eye-opening book about womanhood, motherhood, queer parenting and the relationship we make/break. Dealing with important issues like suicide, abuse of trans people, misogyny and gender stereotypes. I highly recommended everyone to read this. Also, they are going to make it into a tv series!
🌹Things I’d buy if I don’t have to pay the rent…
🌺 This is easily one of my favorite k-dramas next to Reply 1988. It’s so thoughtful, realistic, and poignant from beginning to end. Dear My Friends (2016) tells the story of life and friendships. So beautiful and wholesome <3
💐 A playlist for dancing on your own. Like no ones watching.
Till then, xx
Gita